A Little Bit Sad, A Little Bit Happy

Hi,  Checking in again, and sorry I’ve  absent for a bit.

It’s been a long couple of weeks and it’s far from over. I’m not going to go into great detail,  Instead I’ll just list short descriptive items.  First of all, after my GP, I had to go to the neurologist. I was out of pills and it was overdue. She re-prescribed the pain meds and asked me if I had fainted since the emergency room and I had. I told her I fell forward out of my chair and was out until my head hit the floor hard. I was a little worried about it since it had been a couple of weeks or more and it was still swollen and hurt to brush my hair or touch it. She came over and pressed pretty firmly on the spot and made me holler Ouch! and then she called for a CT Scan of the brain and lumbar and an MRI after the monitor is off of the heart.  And so the day after Christmas I go to do that and see what’s going on in my head and  back.

The GP also prescribed therapy for the leg and foot which is handy by being in the same building as she is here on the Beach. I went two days ago and wasn’t thrilled but I knew I had to. It actually turned out ok since she thinks she  can get the swelling down in 7 treatments of one day after another and  mostly it will be wrapping each day. So that actually sounds good. I know when Home Health did that at first it felt good. So here’s hoping that it works and I can get back to the compression boot. As for the heart monitor, that is turning out crazy. The cardiologist had to be out-of-town for my last appointment to see him and they have to be done in three’s. 1) attach the heart monitor 2) in 30 days Terry takes it back so they can get the readings off of it and see what they show 3) go in a  few days after that to visit with the dr. about the findings. So I couldn’t walk on my leg that day and called to tell them so we could reset the appointments once again. A new person answered that I hadn’t spoken to before and I said I needed to reset and why…that I had other ailments that sometimes interfered. She got angry sounding and said, “No, we’re not resetting it and you will come in on the 15th to see the dr.” I let her know we hadn’t had the monitor on yet, so it  wasn’t supposed to be with him until all was done and he read the results. She said “You will keep this appointment anyway.” I said Okay…fine and that’s how we ended it. Should be a strange meeting with no results.   

I guess that is it…no more until the day after Christmas. Oh yes, I did forget to tell you about the bad couple of nights I had this week during all of this appointment setting. It really was getting to me and causing me to feel almost strangled with the stress as one appointment piggy-backed with the other. The GP called also for a sleep apnea overnight at my house testing while I sleep. I reminded her I don’t sleep anymore, only in “once in a while catnaps” during the day. She said that’s one thing they will see is why you can’t sleep. Sometimes you can get like a new baby home from the hospital who gets its nights and days turned around and its hard to fix, but it can be done. I didn’t like it at all and when I got home the phone rang and it was them wanting to set it up. I immediately hit the stress wall and started crying and told her it was just too much, too many specialists doing too many things to me too fast. She said did they tell you it was at your home so you could sleep more relaxed? I said yes, but you don’t understand, I don’t sleep! Only during the day off and on and not every day. She got quiet then and realized it wasn’t going to work and she said very nicely, “I will put this in your file and there is no pressure here. You call us when you are feeling better and think you might want to try it.” I thanked her and that was that. That night I sat up and cried all night and wasn’t sure why, but couldn’t stop. Release of pressure valves I guess. The next night I sat up at the computer working on my 3D models and would stop off and on and cut my hair off until morning when it wasn’t long anymore but short. I am not sure why I did that either but I’m struggling valiantly to get my sense of humor and positive outlook back on track. I feel a little better today but not too thrilled it will be next summer before my hair is long again like I prefer it. 🙂 I guess I could order one of those cheap dynel wigs.      😉

Okay, I’m signing off for now. Have faith in me, I’ll get back to a good place if they just back off and let me breathe a little. Wishing you and yours the best of Christmases in whatever way you celebrate. I’m going to close my eyes and listen to a little Christmas music online tonight and pretend I am seeing fluffy white snow instead of lights in palms and Santa in shorts.